After The Mastectomy

This is so exhausting to relive. I didn’t live it the first time. I was in denial and a kind of shock. It was like watching someone else. I am so sick from the stroke anyway. Just to give you a brief idea. This is important to know because otherwise, I sound strange and displaced. I am sick always. People don’t know that stroke is a disease. Learn more about strokes here. 

 I had a brain stem stroke. My life, I have to face it, it is not what I wanted. It is still an amazing life.  I have become severely disabled. Physically and mentally. Some days are so much worse than the others. I will maybe share more of that later if interest is shown.

 My mastecomy was over and I had my first chemo scheduled.  Here I went over my notes

I had my first chemo March 31st 2015. I was being treated for mixed typed triple positive Her 2 positive cancer. I had DCIS and IDC breast cancer. It was Grade III Stage II A and Stage II B. My chemo was a mixture of Perjeta, Herceptin, Carboplatin,and Taxotere. I would have Herceptin for a full year. My doctor was fantastic and I loved my nurses. You start to form a real attachment to them. They are the ones who answer the little questions and get your nausea medications refilled. They know everything! I am so grateful for the nurses at my clinic.

I was very sick. A bundle of anxiety, a wretched stomach and headache’s you can’t believe. Chemotherapy is painful for some and I’m one. My stomach hurt so badly. My stroke was made worse. My left side always feels like it’s on fire. It burns and tingles. It goes into the back of my head. Then the right side of my face is numbish. Like say you went to the dentist and had a tooth pulled. It’s like that with shots of pain in my eye. It turns out that chemotherapy makes this worse. I also have left shoulder pain all the time. Sometimes it feels broken. Usually it’s just this horrid pain that lingers. 

I never vomited during chemo. I shaved my head before my hair could fall out. I wasn’t waiting for it. My sweet sister shaved hers too. Dammit she looked cute! 

Around 5 months into it I noticed I had a lot of hip pain. This is not unusual. For me, it turned out to be a whole lot different. To kind of put a pin in this part, for the time being, in the past year I have had a core needle biopsy, mastectomy, salpingo oophorectomy, port placement, breast implant, modification of my reconstruction and a hip decompression. It’s been depressing, joyous, encouraging, enlightening. I don’t know what to share or who would even want to read it. I just wanted to give it a go. 

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